A LIST OF CULTURAL DIFFERENCES
PREFACE
Dear Mom and Dad, What goes around comes around, right? I remember vividly the sounds of slurping soup and chewing challah bread on Friday nights. I remember the Pesach seder, a silent chewer's worst nightmare. Matzah here and matzah there and crunch crunch crunch. I remember the Rotenberg's seder one year. Of course they use the shmorah matzah and so not only is the matzah dry and crunchy, it is dry, crunchy and burnt. The sound of chewing used to bother me so much that sometimes I would have to excuse myself from the table. I'll have you know, that as the first cultural difference I will mention, is what I call, nyamnyam. NyamNyam is the sound one makes when eating, equivalent to nomnomnom or lips smacking. While in the United States, chewing with your mouth open and making loud noises while eating can be interpreted as a lack of manners, in Korea, chewing loudly and smacking your lips while eating is a courtesy to the chef. If one chews softly, it might demean the chef, who worked so hard to prepare the meal. For this reason, I sit with my family every night and am transported to a Passover seder or a friday night dinner with split pea soup and chewy challah bread. I listen to the children nyamnyamnyamnyamnyam at dinner and am reminded that this year in Seoul is an opportunity. An opportunity to not only welcome the new, but let go of the past. A time to realize what is worth holding onto and what can and or should be left behind. I embrace this new experience. Like packing my Jewish box for Korea, I decide what stays behind and what comes with me. Being conscious of this has allowed me to remove myself from my previous pet peeve and focus on what is more important. Love, Gadi
It is also important to realize that these are simply my experiences and observations of Korea. Also, it is often difficult to distinguish what is "Korean" versus what is "this family" or what is "Korean high school" and what is "my high school." For this reason, my observations shouldn't be used to generalize Koreans, Korea or East Asia.
"Holy Seat!" explanation: on one end of Seoul subway carts, there are six seats reserved for elderly or handicapped people and pregnant women. I have been in the subway at rush hour, the most crowded time of day, where people will literally squeeze like sardines into the cart. Even if the cart is completely full, these seats will remain empty until an ahjussi or ahjumma (elderly), pregnant woman or disabled person comes through. For this reason, I've dubbed these seats the "Holy Seats."
A Subway Scene:
No loud speaking
No eating
Usually reading/sleeping/looking at cellphone
Never sitting in Holy Seats
Shoes are not worn inside house ever. One does not step into house to take off or put on shoes. Just to keep the houses clean. To separate the house from the outside
Omma sometimes feeds you from her chopsticks and her food.
Omma sometimes gently taps you on the shoulder/arm when speaking to you.
Respect, formal polite, informal polite is very very important. You can sometimes really offend someone by using informal polite when formal polite was expected.
Koreans do not say sorry, excuse me even softly when bumping into you on the subway. They speak with their eyes and will often give you the death stare if you are a foreigner and accidentally bumped into them.
Single sex naked public bathhouses are common in Korea and are used to have people become closer with one another.
You bow your head when saying hello, goodbye or thank you. Depending on the level of politeness, you should bow only your head or your head and torso. The more you bow the more respect is given to the receiver.
People don't say bless you when someone else sneezes. They do not say excuse me if they burp (at least in my family).
Korea: Light/no breakfast. Light Lunch. Heavy dinner. USA: Heavy breakfast. Medium lunch. Light dinner.
Americans are very animated. Koreans tend to speak with their eyes and not their mouths. I've also noticed that in every picture I have seen of my host family their faces are stoic. I asked why no one was smiling and they said, "Hankuk (Korean) Style."
Use toilet paper for everything. It's in the kitchen and the bedrooms and the living room. It's used as tissues and as paper towels (not for drying hands or dishes), but for cleaning up a small spill or wiping off the table.
Seatbelts are not yet a habit of simply getting into the car- even for the driver. When I put on my seatbelt, the mom and dad were very impressed/surprised, and called me a good boy. But still did not put on their belts.
Watching TV or having radio on during dinner.
Corporal punishment in school: ONLY my experiences. If you are late regularly, you could be asked to do squats. If you don't do your homework, depending on the teacher, you may be asked to put out your hands and take a small whipping.
Waste. Nothing goes to waste. We compost the skins of our apples and oranges in a box outside our house. I pour water into the dinner rice bowl at the dining table and clean the sticky rice grains off the side of my bowl and then drink the water (also makes it easier to clean when doing dishes). In all the subway stations there are not one, but two garbage cans: one for trash and the other for recyclables.
